Tips for Coping with Traumatic and Unexpected Losses
Grief is lonely. Don’t go it alone.
The term “loss” covers a whole lot of ground. Each of us can be traumatized in many ways. However, in this post, we’ll keep the focus on the unexpected loss of a loved one. These events tend to be the most universally impactful. Plus, the lessons learned in this exploration are very applicable to other forms of traumatic loss.
While everyone grieves in their own manner, there are many commonalities in how we react when we feel blindsided. In fact, our first and most dominant emotion is usually shock. But make no mistake—a unique version of grief is looming. The more we understand such a scenario, the better we can manage the unmanageable.
The Impact of Traumatic and Unexpected Losses
The symptoms you will experience will be similar to the aftermath of any traumatic event, e.g., intrusive thoughts, denial, flashbacks, emotional numbness, dissociation, nightmares, hyper-vigilance, sleep and digestive disturbances, anxiety, and more. But some deeper trends will likely emerge, too.
How Traumatic and Unexpected Losses Can Affect You
Anger: The suddenness of the event can challenge much of what you once took for granted. As a result, someone grieving an unexpected loss may display extreme angry outbursts.
Self-Blame: Even if it’s completely irrational to believe so, you may feel guilt that you weren’t there to save the day. You may blame yourself for “not doing enough” or “seeing it coming.”
Confusion: It can seem impossible to live with so much being unknown. In this time of unexpected bereavement, you may become obsessed with trying to figure out what happened and why. You desperately want to find meaning in an experience that appears random and unfair. This does not help the healing process.
Tips for Coping with Traumatic and Unexpected Losses
Feel What You Need to Feel
This step begins with acceptance of all of the emotion that comes with loss. It’s normal to feel waves of intense, contradictory emotions in this situation. Give yourself the permission and space you need to process and digest. Suppressing or denying emotions never accomplishes what we wish they would. Resolution and recovery can only happen by facing reality.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Create a strong, trustworthy support system on which you can lean. If you don’t have such people, find a support group. Whether online or in-person, a sudden loss support group will put you in contact with people who “get” it. Whatever path you choose, resist the temptation to withdraw into self-isolation.
Create Daily Routines
Without healthy rhythms, your life can slide into counterproductive chaos. Daily structure serves to balance the lack of control you feel over your feelings. A sudden, traumatic loss can make everything seem uncertain. Therefore, introduce some certainty into your day-to-day life. For example, a self-care regimen serves as a routine while also fortifying you against the exhaustion of grief. Keep in mind:
Steady sleep patterns
Healthy dietary habits
Get some physical activity or exercise every day
Practice stress management
Connect with trusted loved ones
Getting the Treatment You Need and Deserve
First and foremost, you’ll need professional support. A trauma-informed grief therapist can make a world of difference. Your weekly sessions become a safe space in which you can manage symptoms while learning how to regulate your emotions. Under the guidance of a bereavement counselor, you’ll cultivate healthy coping skills to prevent grief from becoming prolonged and complicated.
If an unexpected and traumatic loss has turned your life upside-down, you deserve compassionate care. Reach out today to get started with grief counseling.
Be Still Holistic Counseling & Wellness specializes in serving women and teen girls who are struggling with anxiety, depression, grief & loss, and chronic illness & pain who want to stop feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and start living in balance and freedom.
Be Still Holistic Counseling & Wellness
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