What is Therapy, Anyway?
Beginning therapy often comes with a mix of hope, uncertainty, and questions. Many people wonder what therapy actually is, what they are supposed to do in sessions, or how long it will take to feel better. This primer is meant to offer an overview of the process, so you can step into therapy with clarity, realistic expectations, and a sense of agency in your own healing.
At its core, therapy is a structured and confidential relationship designed to support growth, healing, and greater self understanding. It is a space where you are invited to slow down and be honest about your internal world, your experiences, and the challenges you carry. Therapy is not about being fixed or told what to do. It is about being supported as you make sense of your story and learn new ways of responding to life. A therapist brings training, perspective, and tools, but the work itself is collaborative and deeply personal.
What is the goal of counseling?
The goals of therapy vary from person to person, but there are common threads across most therapeutic work. Therapy aims to increase coping skills so that daily stressors, emotions, and transitions feel more manageable. It seeks to decrease symptoms such as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, or emotional reactivity. Therapy also helps people recognize patterns in thinking, including beliefs that may be rigid, self-critical, or rooted in past experiences rather than present reality. Over time, many clients begin to notice patterns in relationships as well, including how they attach, how they respond to conflict, and how old dynamics may be replaying in current connections. The ultimate goal is not perfection, but greater awareness, flexibility, and alignment with one’s values.
How long will I be in therapy?
The honest answer is that therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Some people come for short-term, focused support around a specific life event that may take 12-16 sessions. Others engage in longer-term work to address deeper patterns or trauma that may take months or years. Meaningful change often requires time, consistency, and patience. Many clients begin to notice small shifts within the first several sessions, but lasting growth tends to unfold over months rather than weeks. Therapy works best when it is approached as a process rather than a quick solution.
What happens during sessions?
While every therapist has a unique style, sessions often begin by talking about what has transpired since the last meeting. This might include stressors, relationships, emotions, successes, or moments that felt particularly difficult or meaningful. Together, you and your therapist begin to notice patterns. You may explore how your thoughts influence your emotions, how your past shapes your present, or how your body responds to stress. Therapy is a place to gain wisdom about yourself, not through judgment, but through curiosity and compassion.
Sessions also often include learning and practicing coping skills. We want you to leave each session with practical things to work on in between sessions. This may involve emotional regulation tools, grounding strategies, communication skills, boundary setting, or ways to challenge unhelpful thinking. Over time, these skills move from something you consciously practice into something that becomes more natural and integrated into daily life. Therapy helps bridge insight with action, so that understanding leads to change rather than staying stuck in awareness alone.
How long does it take to feel better?
It takes the first 3-4 sessions for your therapist to ask lots of questions and get to know your story. As you gain awareness in therapy, you’ll start noticing patterns and start to gain traction on your goals. Research shows it takes at least 8 sessions to create meaningful change. Then, depending on the frequency, intensity, and duration of your symptoms, it could take weeks and months of continued therapy to get you where you want to be.
It is important to know that therapy is not always linear. There may be sessions where things feel clearer and lighter, and sessions where deeper and harder emotions surface. Hard sessions may lead you to not want to come back. This is a normal part of the process. Therapy creates space to hold both struggle and growth at the same time. You are not expected to have the right words, the right goals, or a polished story. You are only invited to show up as you are.
Therapy is ultimately about learning to live with greater intention, resilience, and self compassion. It supports mental and emotional health, but it also touches relationships, identity, and meaning. When approached with openness and consistency, therapy can become a steady place of reflection and renewal, helping you navigate life with greater clarity and confidence.
Be Still Holistic Counseling & Wellness serves women and girls in Cary and throughout North Carolina with anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, pregnancy, and postpartum.
