How to Get the Most out of Therapy
Beginning therapy is an act of courage. It is a decision to pause, reflect, and invite support into places that may feel tender, confusing, or have been carried alone for a long time. Many people assume that simply showing up is enough, and while showing up matters deeply, there are ways to engage therapy that can help it become more meaningful, transformative, and sustainable over time. Therapy works best when it is approached as a collaborative relationship and a process that unfolds both inside and outside the therapy room.
Consistent Attendance
One of the most important foundations for effective therapy is consistent attendance. Healing happens through rhythm and continuity. When sessions are spaced too far apart or frequently missed, it becomes harder to build momentum and therapeutic trust. Consistency allows your nervous system to settle into the work, helps your therapist track patterns over time, and creates a sense of safety where deeper work can emerge. Even when life feels busy or motivation dips, showing up sends a powerful message to yourself that your well-being is worth prioritizing.
Commit to at least 8 sessions
Alongside consistency, committing to therapy for a meaningful stretch of time is essential. Depending on what you’re coming for, therapy can span from 8-12 sessions to a year or more. Many people begin to notice shifts after the first few sessions, but lasting change often requires more space. We encourage clients to commit to at least eight sessions before evaluating progress. This allows time to clarify goals, build trust, explore underlying patterns, and begin practicing new ways of thinking, feeling, and relating. Therapy is not a quick fix. It is a process of growth that unfolds layer by layer.
Give your therapist honest feedback
Honest feedback is another key ingredient. Your therapist is genuinely interested in your feedback! You will not hurt her feelings. When something does not feel helpful or when you want something different from the work, let her know. If something felt confusing, if a session felt too intense or not focused enough, or if you are unsure whether therapy is helping, sharing that feedback strengthens the process. Therapy works best when it is collaborative rather than passive. Your therapist cannot adjust what she does if she does not know what your experience has been.
Work on growth in between sessions
Growth also happens between sessions. Therapy is not limited to the fifty minutes you spend in the counseling room. The real work often continues as you notice patterns in daily life, practice new coping skills, reflect through journaling, or gently challenge old beliefs. You may begin to observe how your body responds to stress, how your thoughts shift in moments of conflict, or how past experiences show up in present relationships. These observations become rich material for future sessions and help therapy move from insight into lived change.
Communicate your goals
Clarifying your hopes for therapy can also deepen the work. While goals may evolve, having a sense of what you want support with gives direction to the process. This might include emotional regulation, healing from past wounds, navigating relationships, strengthening identity, or integrating faith and values into daily life. Revisiting goals periodically helps ensure therapy remains aligned with what matters most to you.
Things may get worse before they get better
It is also important to know that, for some people, things can feel harder before they feel better. As therapy invites awareness, long-avoided emotions, memories, or patterns may come to the surface. You may feel more emotional, more tired, or more aware of pain you once coped with by staying busy or disconnected. This does not mean therapy is failing! Often, it means healing is beginning. Bringing what has been buried into the light allows it to be understood, processed, and integrated rather than continuing to shape your life in unseen ways. Your therapist will help you move at a pace that honors your nervous system and builds stability alongside insight.
Give yourself time to process before and after sessions
Another often overlooked part of getting the most out of therapy is allowing yourself time before and after sessions to prepare and to process. Therapy is not just another meeting to squeeze between work calls or errands. It asks for emotional presence and can stir thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that need space to settle. Arriving a few minutes early, taking a brief walk, or sitting quietly before your session can help you transition into a more reflective state. Afterward, giving yourself time to breathe, journal, pray, or simply be still allows the work to integrate rather than being rushed aside. Treating therapy as a sacred pause rather than a task helps protect the depth of the work and supports your nervous system.
Practice vulnerability
Vulnerability plays a meaningful role, but it unfolds at its own pace. You do not need to share everything all at once. Trust builds gradually, especially for those with histories of trauma, loss, or betrayal. Being vulnerable as trust allows means listening to your internal sense of safety and sharing what feels manageable in each season. Healing does not require pushing yourself beyond what feels emotionally safe. It invites honesty, self compassion, and patience with your own process.
Finally, approaching therapy with openness and curiosity can be transformative. There may be moments of discomfort, grief, or challenge as old patterns are examined and new ones take shape. These moments are not signs of failure. They are often signs of meaningful work. Therapy invites you to meet yourself with compassion, to honor your story, and to grow in ways that support mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health. At its heart, therapy is a partnership rooted in trust, presence, and hope. When you show up consistently, engage honestly, practice between sessions, and allow the process the time it needs, therapy can become a space of deep healing and renewed strength. You do not have to do this perfectly. You only have to come willing, one session at a time.
Be Still Holistic Counseling & Wellness serves women and girls in Cary and throughout North Carolina with anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, pregnancy, and postpartum.
